New Blog!

Hello all! (maybe just a few! :)

My co-workers and I are starting a new blog where interesting articles about impact investing/philanthropy can be posted! Check it out!

http://impactinvestingopenforum.blogspot.com/

If you are interested and would like posting authority, let me know and I can probably hook you up!

Fibular Sesamoidectomy - Relax.

Ok, so here is the HUGE news about sesamoid excision:

1) Get yourself an orthopedic surgeon that you trust, preferably at a highly regarded teaching hospital in your area - this is your foot you are talking about for the rest of your life. I am sure that there are some good DPM's out there that do a fine job, but I have had personal wonderful experience with ortho's and I would hands down recommend one - that is good, confident in his/her work and has done it successfully before - many times.

2) Do the appropriate waiting period that your doctor will force upon you whether you like it or not (will likely involve walking cast - make sure they give you a big one that goes up to your shin, none of that foot-only bs). This will last 3-6 months depending on your doc.

3) Stay active even while in the waiting period when you are testing whether it will heal on its own without surgery - I recommend push-ups and situps (done hard) at least once a day, or at a minimum once every two days. This may be way less exercise than you are used to, but will ward off unpredictable emotional breakdowns.

4) If you must have surgery, just do it. You've done the waiting, you trust your doc (your orthopedic surgeon! - make sure s/he has done many before and they have been successful), so do it (if it's the right time for you - only you can determine what amount of pain you are willing to live with).

5) Be good to yourself after surgery. Don't cheat. NO WEIGHT on the foot for the prescribed period of time. Sleep in the boot (wear it for 24 hrs/day until you feel comfortable sleeping in it.) Don't shower until you are supposed to - learn to appreciate baths again if you have one.

6) Be patient and give yourself time. Expect to build strength and confidence at a relaxed pace. Accept that you should not even attempt running for 6 months to a year after surgery. Sure, be frustrated by that, feel limited; but then move on. Breathe again, and maybe even enjoy the extra time you have now, time that you might otherwise have spent running excessively. Maybe read more. This is one time in your life when you have to rest. So do it. Enjoy it, and learn all you can about the balance between healthy eating and exercise. Learn that eating normally without intense exercise is a viable way to live and still feel good about yourself. Dealing with the same problem 5 years from now will not be worth trying to "get the endorphins" back while struggling through a painful run at 3 or 4 months. Just chill. You'll be walking comfortably at 10-12 weeks if you rest well, and biking soon thereafter.

7) Most of all: trust your doctor. My doctor's confidence in his work is what has kept me sane throughout this. I was unfortunate to have had a bad experience with a DPM before seeing my doc at Georgetown, and my emotional and physical health suffered because of it. Start with a good doc, and end with him/her - whether that is DPM/Ortho surgeon/someone else.

Good luck. It's ok to lean on people for support! (physically and emotionally.)

3 weeks post-op

Hello!

So little update on the past few weeks and recovery so far:

11/9/2010 fibular sesamoidectomy surgery (that night, very sick - awesome anesthesia)
2 weeks in splint and crutches - absolutely no weight on foot (bathing a challenge! :)

11/22/2010 follow-up
cut splint off - with screaming man who had just broken ankle in background - poor guy.
put in boot - crutches for another week

11/29
weight on boot with crutches, transitioning to just in boot.

More to come!

Introduction to the blog direction.

Ok, I plan to write a series of posts about my recent fibular sesamoidectomy, what's that, my fibular sesamoid had become necrotic - a case of osteonecrosis? A fibular sesamoid excision? Might cause hallux varus or hallux valgus - what? Bipartite sesamoid? Fibular sesamoid fracture? Sick sesamoid and surgery?

I have written the strange mumbo jumbo above so that searching souls will hopefully stumble across my blog when searching for information on a surgery to repair a fibular sesamoid fracture.

First of all, a crack at the typical legalise posted by docs at the bottom of their responses to blog posts - information on this site is merely a reflection of my personal experience and by reading any information on this site, the reader understands that while this is my story in dealing with a sesamoid surgery, the reader or the reader's friend or family member may have a totally different experience with this injury. No matter what your role in someone's recovery from surgery, I wish you and everyone around you the best in supporting the sesamoiditis sufferer through this difficult and challenging time. So please read on! But do note, that this is all anecdotal evidence, and I am no doctor.

Tiny Dancer:
a true blue jean baby.

The stigmatized, unappreciated worth of

diminutive girth...

...demoralized gravity

...demonized graphically through,

pieces of paper pontificating propaganda,

a propos of

forever forbidden

...failing phallic fragility

...finite and futile feasibilities,

never to

productively participate in pounding...

...potential positions

...of pleasure.

Old feelings foreshadow all too well

I wrote this in April or May 2009. More appropriate now than at the time of writing, I re-post. More important than protecting family members from worry is that perhaps someone can relate.



Whisper No More


slightest brush; weightless breath; uncalculated bump
unequivocally pinned by your wit
you whisper into my heart,
the rush so doomed for future pain, yet perfect in the moment


the long-awaited quenching
hallucination of haldol. what congenial fantasy is this?
must I near metaphorical suicide to prove this faith to a manufactured demigod of love


the fool, as the haze hales capricious clarity, is it I whose image the reflection reveals?
must I confess these celestial spheres to be my own contrived paradise?
reveal this reality’s true construction
for I have misread for what I want to see
the unadulterated reciprocation
your defense? superfluous still in the face of my present misinterpretation.


pain pours disproportionately promptly from this point of perpendicular pleasure
genuine sincerity, obligatory congeniality, visceral courage –
what drug must rush your veins, how heavy the wrecking ball!
god let something inside of you give you the empathy to hold this stare
for I need you to pull this sting from me.
my trust in you escapes with every throbbing beat
yet this magnet pushes for a compatible fit.
You relay the radioactive decay of this precarious bond with no peculiar dismay.
I will not disobey the script of this twisted ballet with me cast as your prey.


the returned stare I once yearned for.
try to find me; I promise I am there.
the fog clears; a homecoming for deceit is revealed.
recognize it? touch it. cold and inflexible is stares back.
is it I? no.
it is you who stares back. alone in the mirror.


no me to temper the stigma.
stare back into me and the mirror will crack.
But will this bad luck ever truly bring me back?

Turning Over a Gargantuan Maple Leaf

Greetings. Time has flown; and now it will have to land in another location as I change my subscription to a new address.

I will capture this update in 10 words or fewer:

Futility and resignation, rejection yet inspiration, new city, new job.

After more frustration than I can relay in this space, perhaps I shall dare to write a chapter in an extended memoir someday, the decision to resign from Teach for America was reached.

After nearly a quarter century, and the development of the pre-frontal cortex is complete, one might think that he would have quite an excellent understanding of the mechanisms fueling his planning and decision-making processes. However, he would be wrong.

While outwardly an obviously extroverted person, my internalization of life concerns, serious quandaries, and troubles is really quite extreme. Therefore, when I shared with my roommates my letter of resignation without previously having discussed the aforementioned openly, they were quite surprised to say the least. Shocking the threesome again, my decision to move to D.C. hit them hard - ranging from an emotional hurt denial to a chill nod of the head.

Lesson learned:

Thinking it ≠ Saying it.

Sunday brings a big move. For the time being I shall house myself under the roof of hospitable family friends and will interview to the best of my abilities with two organizations next week.