Picture this: dressed in business casual, I aggressively confront my 2nd block with a cheaply made crow-bar (a broken chair leg) as I yell, "I work my ass off for you! Staying up until 1:00am in the morning and getting up at 5:00am, and this is how you repay me?! By throwing paper balls at me?!"
Indeed, Thursday was a rough day. I knew it was not going to be my all-time favorite when the day started off by someone ripping down the name chart with pluses and minuses. Then...when I figuratively said f*** you by simply writing the names of students on the board and minutes later turned my back...some little bastard swiped his hand through the names. I immediately realized that this little behavior management system would not work for 2nd block. Left with few options, my only choice was to go hard and flip out on them a little.
Anyway, the first quarter has ended. Thank the Lord. We have two workdays coming up here Monday and Tuesday. I must say that my day today was significantly better given the fact that I will not drive to school tomorrow for an unpredictable day. For this seems to be one of the most difficult parts of the job - the unpredictability of it all. I can be in a great mood and then be ready to give it all up by the end of the day as I clean trash off the floor. Or I can dread walking through the doors of the freshman academy more than I ever have before, only to be greeted by a pleasantly surprising great block. The ups and downs are both incredibly dramatic yet ephemeral.
Tomorrow we travel to Gaston to visit a KIPP school. This program is well-established as an efficient-class making machine. It was created and continues to be run by TFA alumni, now with KIPP schools nationwide. We leave at 5:15am, and return (after an 8 hr round trip travel time!) at 8pm. I think it will be inspiring to see great classrooms and provide me and fellow corps members with some solid ideas for the future.
Anyhoo...anyone who is considering applying to TFA, please do not let my story discourage you. If you are the kind of person who "doesn't take crap from nobody" and is willing to work hard, then you'll rock. Likewise, if you are less assertive but also work hard, get ready for a crash course in becoming more assertive and self-assured. Just know there will be many a treacherous mountain and hollow cavern ahead.
Like the ARMY, sometimes you have to be beaten down in order to rise up.
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3 comments:
Yo Fisher -- keep up the good work. You're definitely not alone in your sentiments and we should talk soon and share some stories - might help to know others feel like you.
Hey man, sorry to hear that it's been so tough lately. But congratulations on getting through the first quarter. Good for you for keeping on going and good for you for laying it down for the kids. As I've always said, I'm so glad that you're doing this and not me, because I would have been arrested for attempted murder months ago (like, on the 2nd day).
Yup, my terror children also erased the names on the board, as though that would cancel detention or something! And threatening them with a crowbar was what it came down to in my school also...the one teacher who did not yell held a huge, threatening stick while he taught.
Can't wait to see you, and we will do whatever you need in order to unwind! Maybe we could just sit under a tree and breathe deeply.
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