Yes, it has been tough. Honestly, this break I have come to the conclusion that perhaps my best move for optimal mental health may be to resign after completing one year...it will all depend on how I am feeling in June.
Nevertheless, I then think about the 90 students at my school whose teacher is on indefinite "sick leave" and has had a substitute hand them worksheets everyday for the past three and a half months. This is atrociously unfair; just another example of the great injustice of our time that is far from truly being discovered by the average US citizen. I know that I am showing up to work (when not sick enough to go to the ER) and trying my best for my students. My classroom management or plan for the day may not be the best, but I will persevere and give these next months my all.
Tuesday, December 30, 2008
Sunday, December 21, 2008
Annnnd now for a new installment of "You Know You Hate Your Job When!..."
This week's topic: You Would Rather Get Appendicitis Than Go To Work.
Indeed, perhaps a little extreme. However, I must admit that when I saw the urgent care doctor's orders that I stay home from work for 3 days I was pretty content...despite the fact that these words came right after the following discharge orders: "To ER for immediate surgical eval.!" My positive attitude was likely driven by the fact that I highly doubted that I actually had appendicitis.
It all began with a horrible Tuesday. 6 hours of less than extreme learning later, I faced an unhelpful TFA focus group and my program director pulling me into a private room to share her concerns, "I just wanted to make sure you're ok." Holding back tears of frustration and exhaustion, I drove home in quite a foul mood. After a near-scalding shower and a quick teary session in front of the roomies, I was heavily encouraged to call in sick on Wednesday. But with true-to-TFA ignorant determination, I said no no, don't be ridiculous, I will attempt to close the achievement gap in the face of any stomach pain or mild depression.
At 4am the next morning, I did not feel the same. Barely able to sit up in bed without crying out in pain, I determined that calling in sick was the appropriate move. Playing along with what most people would do when staying home from work, I visited the urgent care center. My next move was to check myself into the ER, of course, as noted previously.
My awesome roommates joined me to learn that I would need immediate surgery, occurring about 1:30am that night. Waking up from surgery in intense pain the morphine dose was dramatically increased and my groggy, sleep-filled Thursday in the recovery room began. Thankfully, one of my roommates stayed with me through the delirium on Thursday and brought me home.
All in all, everything worked out. I am now home, only a day later than planned, recovering well.
Moral of the story: if you have intense abdominal pain get it checked out immediately and if you would rather be in the hospital than at work - perhaps a career change may be in order...
Indeed, perhaps a little extreme. However, I must admit that when I saw the urgent care doctor's orders that I stay home from work for 3 days I was pretty content...despite the fact that these words came right after the following discharge orders: "To ER for immediate surgical eval.!" My positive attitude was likely driven by the fact that I highly doubted that I actually had appendicitis.
It all began with a horrible Tuesday. 6 hours of less than extreme learning later, I faced an unhelpful TFA focus group and my program director pulling me into a private room to share her concerns, "I just wanted to make sure you're ok." Holding back tears of frustration and exhaustion, I drove home in quite a foul mood. After a near-scalding shower and a quick teary session in front of the roomies, I was heavily encouraged to call in sick on Wednesday. But with true-to-TFA ignorant determination, I said no no, don't be ridiculous, I will attempt to close the achievement gap in the face of any stomach pain or mild depression.
At 4am the next morning, I did not feel the same. Barely able to sit up in bed without crying out in pain, I determined that calling in sick was the appropriate move. Playing along with what most people would do when staying home from work, I visited the urgent care center. My next move was to check myself into the ER, of course, as noted previously.
My awesome roommates joined me to learn that I would need immediate surgery, occurring about 1:30am that night. Waking up from surgery in intense pain the morphine dose was dramatically increased and my groggy, sleep-filled Thursday in the recovery room began. Thankfully, one of my roommates stayed with me through the delirium on Thursday and brought me home.
All in all, everything worked out. I am now home, only a day later than planned, recovering well.
Moral of the story: if you have intense abdominal pain get it checked out immediately and if you would rather be in the hospital than at work - perhaps a career change may be in order...
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
Recent Quotes
As I prepare to go to bed before 11 for the first time in the last eight days, I shall recount a few fun quotes from the past week.
"Save it for your sheets tonight!"
-Me, in response to a student beating his desk rhythmically with a grunting, vocal accompaniment. Thankfully, his need to share his sexual frustrations with the class ceased for the moment.
"I don't like poor people." and then later "Shut up, stupid a**, pimple-faced poor m$%^# f#%$."
--Antonio, unleashing intense frustration at a classmate for his admittedly obnoxious and never-ending cursing and poor behavior control. Really Antonio?...do you realize that basic school demographics reveal the vast majority of your peers to be "poor people." Generalizations, no good.
"The administrative staff has received reliable information that there will be gang fights at all lunches today. Please do not share this information with students, as this will cause them to strategically change the locations and times."
--FA administrator in regards to why students were confined to classrooms for lunch today. Although certainly impeding teachers from enjoying those 15 minutes of freedom, this action also made all gang-violence attempts defunct during the lunch hour.
"...but we all know they're all a bunch of Q's!" [chuckle, chuckle]
--again, FA administrator. This time describing a group of male dancers that might bring ballroom dance to enrich the school's boy's club program. And they wonder why students can't stop the jokes about fag#@( and fruit cakes?
"Save it for your sheets tonight!"
-Me, in response to a student beating his desk rhythmically with a grunting, vocal accompaniment. Thankfully, his need to share his sexual frustrations with the class ceased for the moment.
"I don't like poor people." and then later "Shut up, stupid a**, pimple-faced poor m$%^# f#%$."
--Antonio, unleashing intense frustration at a classmate for his admittedly obnoxious and never-ending cursing and poor behavior control. Really Antonio?...do you realize that basic school demographics reveal the vast majority of your peers to be "poor people." Generalizations, no good.
"The administrative staff has received reliable information that there will be gang fights at all lunches today. Please do not share this information with students, as this will cause them to strategically change the locations and times."
--FA administrator in regards to why students were confined to classrooms for lunch today. Although certainly impeding teachers from enjoying those 15 minutes of freedom, this action also made all gang-violence attempts defunct during the lunch hour.
"...but we all know they're all a bunch of Q's!" [chuckle, chuckle]
--again, FA administrator. This time describing a group of male dancers that might bring ballroom dance to enrich the school's boy's club program. And they wonder why students can't stop the jokes about fag#@( and fruit cakes?
Monday, December 1, 2008
Happy December!
Well, obstacle-filled October and nefarious November have come to a close. Good riddance. As staff members at my roommate's elementary school mentioned at the very first staff meeting post-break, "only three weeks until the holidays!" Indeed, even veteran teachers are looking forward to future time away from school.
I must say that the opportunity to travel home to California for Thanksgiving was highly appreciated and the safety of home provided my adrenal glands a rest from early morning surges (except for Sunday morning of course, when the return to life here in the queen city was forced to resume.)
Although I was noticeable discouraged to leave the comforts of home to fly across the country, my poignant, yet ever-fading, hopes of closing the achievement gap inspired me to hold my head high and remember that I have an essential job here to which I shall dedicate my best efforts.
"1 day down...14 to go!", responds my reassuring roommate after our brief descriptions of decent but trying days. We march onward in an attempt to tame these beasts of behavior challenges and trick even the most obstinate of learners into picking up just a little something from a lesson.
Loving the Christmas music, green tea, and the scented candle burning gently in my room, I will soon drift off to sleep and dream of home fridges filled with egg whites (shout out to midd bball - gotta think of that hard-boiled egg when lifting!), warm, mouth-watering brownies, and a chill late morning with mom reading the paper or a hard-core spotting session with my bro.
Peace and love.
I must say that the opportunity to travel home to California for Thanksgiving was highly appreciated and the safety of home provided my adrenal glands a rest from early morning surges (except for Sunday morning of course, when the return to life here in the queen city was forced to resume.)
Although I was noticeable discouraged to leave the comforts of home to fly across the country, my poignant, yet ever-fading, hopes of closing the achievement gap inspired me to hold my head high and remember that I have an essential job here to which I shall dedicate my best efforts.
"1 day down...14 to go!", responds my reassuring roommate after our brief descriptions of decent but trying days. We march onward in an attempt to tame these beasts of behavior challenges and trick even the most obstinate of learners into picking up just a little something from a lesson.
Loving the Christmas music, green tea, and the scented candle burning gently in my room, I will soon drift off to sleep and dream of home fridges filled with egg whites (shout out to midd bball - gotta think of that hard-boiled egg when lifting!), warm, mouth-watering brownies, and a chill late morning with mom reading the paper or a hard-core spotting session with my bro.
Peace and love.
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