refrigerator poetry

First, thank you so much to those who have shown endless love and support in these tough times. I would not still be here without you.

Second, I have a new air about my teaching. Over winter break, I realized just how unhappy I had been here. This was evidenced in some refrigerator poetry that I wrote with some friends at home. It seemed as though only negative thoughts were in my head:

smelling purple lies there
repulsive lust rips the tongue
will she fall like frantic shadows

stop moon
cry of power
gone
trudge through black winter
time can boil screams


To get a better idea, here is an exert from a recent email I wrote to my program director:

I am constantly uneasy at school, stomach churning and hands shaking between blocks, always on guard for a student to disrespect or emotionally abuse me. With megaphones blaring in the halls, constant verbal and physical conflict among students and ubiquitous complaining and frustration among staff members, I work in a hostile, unwelcoming, and uninspiring environment that breeds depression and ill-will.

However, realizing just how low I had gotten and the pressures that I was putting on myself helped me realize that I need to lighten up and just do the best that I can. If I did absolutely everything that I could, bending over backwards for my students, I would still have kids checked out, not doing anything in class, and disrespecting their classmates and me - and certainly not reaching 80% mastery.

Finals week starts on Wednesday. Time for these students to really crack down.