Bad Plumbing and the Po-Po

We have officially moved into the condo!...and I will never...ever rent or buy a condo again. Some words of caution to those signing a lease soon:

1) Make sure you are the only ones who have keys to the place, or at least know all parties that have a key.

2) Ensure that your landlord upholds the darn agreement from the beginning!

A few days ago, we had moved into a nicely renovated condo with two bathrooms and 2 kitchens...little did we know that one bathroom was off limits because the drains were leaking into our downstairs neighbor's ceiling and the electricity in one kitchen didn't work...pretty sweet. One afternoon we came home to a note on a bathroom mirror reading, "DON'T USE SINK OR SHOWER! --Your downstairs neighbor." I mean really? At least get rid of the caps Jeanie. And how freaking impersonal. And she has a key to our place?! Apparently the condo owner and Jeanie have a history of bad blood between them. That night our landlord came over to change our locks...when we discovered that Jeanie actually should have a key according to the condo laws...our landlord proceeded to run to the grocery store and buy us all some crystal light and snack food. A little bribery for our troubles perhaps...as if that wasn't fishy enough, our condo owner brought over a $150 gift certificate last night for a nice restaurant. So clearly something has gone very wrong with their upholding their end of the lease.

Long story short, our bathrooms all work (thanks to Gamel, our great handy-man who worked extremely hard into the evening a couple of days to get us squared away), but one of our kitchens (with the better oven) is still out of commission.

In other news, I got pulled over for the first time last night! Woohoo. We are driving along after out delicious meal on our condo owner and a roomie in the back is telling a great story about being pulled over by the police. I happen to glance in the rear-view mirror and notice that a cop is behind me...hmmm, I better not speed or anything, wouldn't that be ironic if we got pulled over when someone was telling a story about the exact phenomenon. O dear...this is actually happening, lights behind me are flashing, "Is he seriously asking me to pull over?" I question my compatriots. Indeed he was, and I proceed to move into a conveniently located pull-out area, signaling carefully.

I roll down the window and prepare myself for my first ticket. A young policeman approaches my window. "Good evening ma'am, how's it going tonight?" "Very well, thank you" I say. "Have you been drinking tonight?" "No, not a drop" (A true statement) "I'll walk the line or take a blood alcohol level test if you want" "What about everybody else" "Yes, others in the car have been" (Each had a drink at dinner). "Do you know why I pulled you over ma'am?" "No sir, I am very curious," I say with a little too much enthusiasm in my voice." "Your headlights are off" "O wow! I didn't even realize!" I respond with genuine shock, madly turning the knob that would ensure full visibility of the path ahead. "Do you know who usually drives at night with their headlights off?" He asks with a slight air of condescension. "I am guessing drunk drivers?" What do I win Bob?! "Yes, ma'am. License and registration please." I provide the essentials. By this point a second car had joined our party across the street, and shortly thereafter a third car, making three cars blocking traffic with lights flashing. Are they serious? I think. A female approaches with some plastic tubes in her hand. "Have you ever taken one of these before?" she inquires. "No, I haven't." "Take a deep breath, blow hard into the tube and don't stop until I tell you." Taking a deep breath, I blew with all of my might as I avoided cracking under the sarcastic comedic comments relating to sexual references from the peanut gallery in the back. "She's clean" the policewoman reports to her fellow member of the force. The first policeman comes back into view, returning borrowed documents and closes our meeting with, "Thank you for being the designated driver this evening, have a good night." Whew! Not even a verbal warning. I will certainly keep my lights on in the future.